To Whom It May Concern:
Somewhere around the beginning of March, I was making my way through the candy isle at a Walgreen's, when a most despicable horror to my eyes did occur. The degree to which you took this nearly gave me a migraine headache - which I have not had in many years, I think last taking place after walking into an Express store in a mall, circa 1992.
It wasn't merely the subtle nauseating effect of so many soft pastel hues that struck me, but the sheer volume of the same candy. You had pulsating pink peeps next to yellow, green, and baby blue, but it went on for what seemed like aisle after aisle.
How many peeps do you need to have? They took up half the one side of the isle alone. You had the traditional yellow peep, but that lead to an equally over-abundance of the bunnies, and who knows what else after that. I didn't need to see anymore.
Now, let's move onto the jelly beans. Every single kind was just basically a recap of the previous. Occassionally, you stepped out a bit and delivered the speckled-hen version, but you had to play it safe, didn't you? Cadbury eggs certainly took a back-seat this year, too. I remember the days when they had their own display in the center isle. Now they're kind of thrown in the middle of all this oversaturated, dumbed-down business.
Barely any chocolate.
Some may think this is a minor issue compared to other world matters, and that's a fair argument. But it's these little things that lead to larger issues. Today, you're messing with Easter candy. Tomorrow, who the hell knows? Hormone injections?!
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